Grief Support & Other Resources

Government Benefits

The links below provide information to those who are seeking information regarding benefits from various government agencies.

Social Security Administration (click on Benefits, then Survivors)

KPERS (Kansas Public Employees Retirement System)

Federal Retirees (U.S. Office of Personnel Management)

MOSERS (Missouri State Employees Retirement System)

Writing An Obituary

We all meet many different people throughout our lifetimes, and family members aren't always able to personally inform every one of the death. This is why an obituary can be an important to prepare, it informs those of your loved ones passing, including people that you may not know.

As you're writing and reading the obituary, think about how your loved one would want others to remember him/her. If fishing was his life, you should include that. If he was in the chess club just to pass the time, you might want to leave that out. If she was close to her extended family, you might want to make an effort to get those names in.

Decide what you want to include. If you don't have all of the information you need, you'll want to make phone calls and gather these facts, preferably before you start writing.

The basic obituary usually includes:

• Full name of the deceased
• Age
• Date of Birth
• City and state of residence where they were living when they passed away
• Name of significant other (alive or deceased)
• Time, date and place of viewing, burial, wake and memorial service arrangements. If you don't have this information yet, you can always write something like, "funeral arrangements are being made and will be announced at a later date."

Other things you might want to consider including:

• City and state of birth
• City and state of other residences. You may want to include this if most of the person's life was spent living in a different place from where they died, they lived in a town or city that was important to them or if they were well known or did something notable in a previous town.
• Parents' names. Some people only include these if they're still alive, but others give tribute to a deceased parent (ex: "daughter of the late John Smith").
• Children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren's names and residences--If this list gets two long, you can eliminate the names and locations (ex: "five grandchildren and 10 greatgrandchildren"). Make sure to separate each entry with a semicolon or it can get messy.
• Other family members (nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, etc.) and special friends. Again, this can make your obituary quite long (and can get problematic if you include some names, but not others), so you may want to leave these people out unless you have a small family.
• Special pets
• Activities. Include churches, clubs, organizations, volunteer groups, hobbies and other things that were important to your loved one.
• Vocation and places of employment. Not necessary, but if your loved one was well known in their industry or loved their work, it might be something to include.
• Notable accomplishments
• Degrees and schools attended
• Military service
• Date of marriage
• Personality traits and anecdotes
• How they died. Most people don't include this information, but it's up to you. Use good judgment, especially if the death was troubling, involved illegal activity or was a suicide. However, if someone died while in the war or during a major catastrophe, you may want to include that information.
• Where people should make a memorial contribution.
• If you'd rather people not send flowers, tell them where they can make a contribution.

Again, think about what your loved one, not you, would want. There are plenty of template options you can find online. Or, go to cremationcenterkc.com and read some obituaries of some of our families we have served for ideas.

Have someone else, preferably a close family member or friend, proof the obituary. It is always a good idea to have someone else read the obit before you submit it. This person should not only check for spelling and grammatical errors, but they also should make sure you didn't leave out important family members or anything else that was inadvertently excluded.

A photo of your loved one is a nice addition to your obituary. Find a photo that is clear and shows your loved one in their best light.

Should you wish to print the obituary in a local paper, consider that the length dictates the price. We suggest a simple listing in the paper that notes their name, dates of birth and death and then the note “For the full obituary, please go to www.cremationcenterkc.com”. This will save you time and allow your friends and family

to leave their condolences online for you to read.

Lastly, remember that there is no formal rule to follow when writing their obituary. Short or long, as long as the written tribute befits the person, that is all you need.